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Julie Answers: How to cope when your partner has panic attacks
Ed asked: My wife has crippling panic attacks and can’t be alone. It’s been going on for a long time, but now it’s really starting to affect me and our relationship. Like I can’t go anywhere without making sure she is not home alone. I’m starting to build up a lot of resentment because of how it affects my life. I feel like I don’t have any freedom. She is seeing a therapist and making incremental improvements but I need help in managing the anxiety her anxiety is causing me.
Dear Ed,
Your situation is a challenging one, and you are wise to be looking for support and possible solutions to address your own well-being. As you are finding, in trying to be as supportive as you can be to your wife, the very steps you are taking can naturally lead to stress and frustration for you. Becoming resentful in this situation is natural response, and allowing that to continue to build without addressing it can only have a detrimental impact on your marriage, which will ultimately cause both your wife and you more pain. The metaphor of “putting on your own oxygen mask first” is very applicable here, because depleting your own resources to meet her needs is not sustainable, and does not serve either of you or help her recovery.
