Member-only story
Julie Answers: How can I help my girlfriend who has anxiety and an eating disorder?
Jason says: It’s been hard on us but she is much better now. I just need someone to talk to about it and get advice. I’m the only person who knows about it and it got bad for a while, but she is doing better.
Dear Jason,
You are doing the right thing in reaching out for help. When someone you love is dealing with mental health issues, it presents a challenge to both of you, and to your relationship. It can be taxing on your own coping skills to be the primary support person for someone who is struggling and vulnerable.
You have likely taken on the role of being “the strong one” as your girlfriend has gone through the recovery process. Having someone like that to depend on often makes a huge difference in a person’s recovery.
But you are human too, and cannot always be strong. Your relationship needs to have room for you to have your own ups and downs. The metaphor of “putting on your own oxygen mask first” is very applicable here, because depleting your own resources to meet someone else’s needs is not sustainable and does not serve either of you or help her recovery.
When you say that you are the only person who knows, I wonder if you mean you’re the only one in her personal circle of friends, family…
