Julie Answers: How can I move on with my life and not be so fearful?

Julie Borden
5 min readOct 18, 2022
Photo by Simon Watkinson on Unsplash

Helena asked: I have been divorced more than 20 years and I have not been able to connect with any male or really anyone. I am not very trustful of people because everyone in my life has failed me except my family. My ex-husband was both physically and verbally abusive. My father just ignored me all of his life (he has since passed). I am an introvert and this creates problems within itself.

Dear Helena,

I want to start by saying that I hear see a glimmer of hope in your question, and I think that in itself is a good indicator that you can be successful in this endeavor. Moving past the fears that have been holding you back has the potential to lead to profound positive changes in your life. It is courageous of you to take this step, as many people find the prospect of making that kind of change daunting. But your question tells me you know it is possible, and you are correct in that knowledge. No matter how long you have been fearful, withdrawn, and isolated, there are steps you can take to expand your world and make your life fuller and more rewarding.

I will spend the rest of this answer addressing HOW someone is to go about making such changes, but the short answer is this: BABY STEPS. A little bit at a time.

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Julie Borden

Social worker, therapist, reader, writer, head-in-the-clouds dreamer, awed by most everything. (She/her) Reach me at JulieBordenLCSW@gmail.com.