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Julie Answers: How can I stop overthinking?
Carl asked: I overthink so much on my bad days. Things like am I a good man, why don’t I like to spend time with my family even though I’m perfectly fine not seeing them. Other things too like am I talented enough, attractive enough, resilient enough, smart enough… and it’s exhausting. I just want to be able to tell myself “it’s enough” and be perfectly okay.
Dear Carl,
You are absolutely right; overthinking is exhausting and a huge drain of emotional energy. In addressing your question, I want to first touch on some different types of overthinking. Some people might struggle with all of them, others with one or two. Here is an incomplete list of examples: Some people question the decisions they make, second-guessing themselves into a state of panic. Others worry — their minds are quick to land on any possible negative or scary thing that could happen, no matter how unlikely, and create an endless chain of “what if’s.” Then they might expend time and energy searching for solutions to problems that don’t exist yet and may never come to be at all. Some people go down a rabbit hole with existential thoughts. Being human means wondering about the meaning of it all at times, but when thoughts like, “What are we here for?” consume a person so much that they interfere with their ability to focus on the present and engage in everyday activities, that…
