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Julie Answers: How can one manage mental stability while living with an estranged partner?
George asked: I’m going through a separation/divorce and I’m struggling with depression and trust in living with the woman I’m soon to not be married to. We have children and have been married for almost ten years. The love is gone and the physical attraction mostly gone.
Dear George,
If I’m reading you correctly, you and your soon-to-be ex-wife are continuing to live under the same roof, at least for now. I imagine this could be a temporary situation until one of you moves out, or you could be choosing to co-parent your children in the same household even though your marriage is ending. Either way — a permanent plan or a temporary arrangement — what you are describing is really hard. There is almost always so much tension between partners who are in the process of divorcing. You are at the counterpoint to the times when you were the closest, you have good memories that are probably tinged with sadness now, and the weight of everything that has gone on between you over the past however-many years that you have been struggling in your marriage. That could mean huge fights or quieter underlying strained interactions, resentments, betrayals, words said in anger. It’s hard enough for ex-spouses living separately and parenting together, but yours is most definitely the…