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Julie Answers: How do I get out of a self-destructive loop?
Erik asked about finding the will to persevere: I develop new interests quickly and go “all in” — until I hit the first big challenge. Then I stop, just as abruptly. I tend to try something for a short amount of time until I get stuck on something or just lose motivation.
Dear Erik,
The problem you describe can be a really frustrating one. It is true that interest and motivation tend to come in big spikes and bursts of inspiration. There is nothing quite like that feeling you get when a new interest has been sparked. It is kind of like a new relationship with a person. There is a “honeymoon period” where you tend to see only the positives and become attached to the idea of how exciting it will be to pursue your new passion.
But, as you know, the road from there does not remain smooth. Since I don’t know what specific activities or interests you have started and struggled with, I will assume it is something like learning a new skill — playing a musical instrument or learning a sport. It is so inspiring to watch (or listen to) someone who has already mastered the skill. There is a feeling at that point that you would be willing to do any amount of work necessary to get there yourself. How could you not, with that amount of inspiration to carry you along?
