Julie Answers: How do I get over anxiety when my boyfriend hangs out with his girl best friend?
Sophie relates her situation: She blocked me because she wanted to “protect him” from me seeing incriminating things. I get really bad anxiety when they hang out. How do I get over her, and get over them hanging out together? I always end up giving him attitude when he’s with her and ended up calling him once crying when she was there, so she hates me since I treated him bad. I get bad anxiety because I think they’re talking bad about me. Afraid he’ll come back realizing he’s unhappy with me after talking to her.
Dear Sophie,
In responding to your question, I am going to refer to a vignette from one of my favorite relationship books by one of my favorite authors. The book is The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships, and the author is Harriet Lerner, PhD. This example from the book has really helped me in helping my clients navigate situations such as yours.
Opposite sex friendships. Or more specifically, when your partner has a close friend of the opposite sex. (Please note, I will use that terminology, since you are in a heterosexual relationship. For LGBTQ+ couples it would be “having a close friendship with someone who, because of their gender, could be seen as a potential romantic…
