Julie Answers: What are some affirmations, mantras, or self-talk that can reinforce self-worth?
Pam’s question: I’m looking for certain techniques that can be used to validate self-worth in times of despairing loneliness. It’s quite easy to associate lack of intimate connection with others with a low sense of self-worth. So I’m just wondering (aside from actually doing the work of putting myself out there) if there are techniques that could help me feel more whole. Thank you.
Dear Pam,
Great question. The messages we give ourselves are so important, and yet I find that people are often unaware of them until they are specifically called to their attention. When I work with clients who struggle with self-criticism and lack of self-worth, one of the first things I ask them to do is to really pay attention to their own self-talk. Each of us are with ourselves 24/7, a much larger amount of time than we spend with anyone else. And we generally have some sort of internal monologue going on — a barely-conscious stream of thoughts, reactions, and comments about ourselves and life events.
I ask my clients to tune into what that constant “inner voice” is actually saying. I advise them to note, and maybe even write down, what they “hear” when they focus awareness on it. They are often surprised about how self-critical they are. Surprised…
