Julie Answers: Why can I never seem to find a sense of mental calm and stability?
Larry’s question: Whenever I feel like things are moving in the right direction, it becomes off-putting for me. My mind cannot relax and I think my way into problems that don’t exist. All I want is for my mind to stop racing all the time.
Dear Larry,
I agree that it is beyond frustrating to have to do battle with your own mind. In a simpler world, when things were going well, we would be able to relax and enjoy it. And yet, in this world we live in, the struggle you face is all too common.
I will talk a little about the reasons for that — trying to make sense of the question, “Why, oh WHY does the human mind act this way?” And then I will talk about some ideas for overcoming it.
In terms of anxiety, our thoughts are largely habitual, and this is a perfect example. You might have had experiences in your past — they could be anywhere from early in your childhood to much later — where everything was going well, and then something happened to disrupt that. These past experiences could have been major or very minor from your perspective now; what matters is how you perceived them at the time.
When something like that happens, a person might develop an association between “all is well and I’m happy,” and “wow…
