One of my favorite writers, Harriet Lerner, talks about "over-functioners" and "under-functioners." It is really amazing how capable people can become when they have to rely on themslves. Over-functioners often say they can't stop helping - people need them and things would fall apart if they stepped out. I sometimes ask my clients to just try - step out of one situation and see what happens. They are often amazed by the results.

The thing is that over-functioners are not really doing under-functioners any favors. It does not feel good to be incapable, even if it feels familiar.